Through My Eyes #3

Photo by Joel Fulgencio / Unsplash

Continuing the Through My Eyes series, where I register some of the things I learned and reflected on this past week, we find ourselves reading about personal development.

Self-respect and Discipline

I watched a reel from this guy called Zachary Laid on Instagram. I've been following him for a while, and he put forth a powerful idea. The idea is that if you love yourself enough, you will do everything you tell yourself. Anytime you tell yourself that you will do something, whether you do it or not depends on how much you love yourself. Every time you say to yourself that you are going to do something and end up not doing it, you disrespect yourself. You are not listening to yourself. As Naval Ravikant put it, Self-Esteem is your reputation with yourself.

I could relate to this a lot, not because I'm good at it, but because I suck at it sometimes. Like all of us, I have struggled with taking action on the things I said to myself that I would do. This applies to many things, from small daily habits to big decisions. I'm good at some things, and I'm not good at many things. In the things that I struggle with, I have found myself negotiating with myself for not doing it. Sometimes, I take it further and try to rationalize not doing something. I'm sure we all are susceptible to this to some extent. Though it puts me at ease at the moment, the net effect is negative. The ultimate form of self-love is discipline. When are we going to start listening to ourselves? Let's take some time to reflect.

Feelings and Reactions

When we argue about something or express our opinions to someone, we get carried away by how they take it and respond to it. What we don't realize is that feelings are subjective. The moment we express ourselves, our job is done. Our control ends there, and we have no control over how people feel or react to what we say.

It's not our place to decide their reactions either. Their feelings and reactions are at their discretion. We cannot tell them or even suggest to them how to react. We must let our opinions fall out and see where they land. We can take it forward based on their reactions using our best judgment. Remember, the goal is to reach a consensus, not to dictate how others should feel or react. This aligns with this idea in Stoicism, known as the dichotomy of control, which essentially is realizing what is in our control and what is not.

The Effect of Social Media

I've been observing something in my mind for a while now. When I'm in the middle of doing something, spending time with friends, trying some food, or visiting a place, many times I notice myself thinking along the lines of, "How can I post this on social media?", "Is this picture good enough for Instagram?", "Maybe I should tweet about this."

Rather than enjoying the moment or being present, rather than capturing pictures for memories or photography, rather than enjoying the food I eat or the book I read or a movie I watched, sometimes I think about what I can say about this event on social media and how I can capture this moment to post. I'm less active than others I have seen, yet these thoughts occur to me. This made me think that I'm probably not alone in thinking like this. For those with me on this, when will we do things just for the sake of doing them?

Final Thoughts

I composed this post mainly to talk about some not-so-bright things all of us have faced or seen at different stages of our lives. Though one section of the internet is about showing how great our lives are, how they are successful and stuff, another section of people has started talking more and more about the uncomfortable things we face. My goal for this post was to talk about some things I have been uncomfortable discussing. Let's remember that it's not all about positivity, merriment, and progress but also about discomfort and lessons. Everything is a part of life. Thanks for reading. Cheers!

Vivek Arvind

Vivek Arvind

Santa Clara, CA